CHAPTER 18
IT AIN’T OVER YET…
My best teacher like EVER, I said it before, was named Yves Trudel. His passion for the theatre was highly contagious and I quickly became a huge fan too. But I also have something to confess to you my friend. Years ago, my ex and I formed an amateur theatre group with local kids to give them basis acting skills while improving their self-esteem at the same time. One night, my ex came to me and requested that I write a play for the next day. I therefore kind of plagiarised the theme of one of your creations … my way to pay homage to your work? Ok, sorry my dear friend, I won’t do it ever again promise… After I had my theme, the ideas came out quickly and my piece was ready in no time so the kids had something to work with that week…
Going back to my story, that day, I spent the evening and part of the night to sort out the rest of it…
Therefore, after I slashed open a bottle of champagne (the real “appellation contrôlée” stuff, not some cheap knock off…), also bearing in mind I only had recently started drinking alcohol at that stage….
By then, I collapsed on by bed (on top of my plain coloured sheets) as I was totally and utterly exhausted. During my “pill induced” sleep, a passing eagle with a forked beak (friend of the family?) dug his sharp claws into my plush red hair, came another one singing a familiar tune.
Of fear…
Of shame…
I never opened my eyes when I felt their imprints deep into my skin. Unfortunately, they spoke a language I could not recognise. Another pair of claws penetrated deep into my heart a second time while the tiny pink pills were still impairing my mind.
Up until yesterday avo (Aussie slang meaning “afternoon”), in the car that was unfortunately taking me to Québec City…
While I was “exchanging” with my gang of angels, IT suddenly just came back to me! I realised that I had lied to myself all this time… Which is most probably the reason I became so emotional on those videos all of a sudden… I spoke to my husband about it yesterday evening at the chicken restaurant where this time, a very joyful lady was serving us our meal.
My son, in his case, didn’t digest their actions at all (he even suggested I sue them…).
Then, there was that very illuminated teacher (Antonio) who, during a course on advertising page layout, gave us a very useful, yet not really relevant trick which I would like to share with you now… He was such a nice guy and was well versed in a wide variety of subjects such as…
How to cook a hamburger!
Easy as! When you have finished shaping the meat into patties, you then poke your finger (where not picky folks, pick the finger of your choice) … and poke a whole “à la mode of a donut” and start cooking the patties. As it cooks down, the whole will eventually disappear leaving just a beautiful, uniformly cooked piece of juicy burger meat, exempt from any trace of nasty bugs usually associate with such burger meat.
***
My son told me one day, I will always remember it, that the most beautiful women were those who had parents from different ethnic origin.
- “You are so right!” I added.
Which most certainly explains why our local female population is deemed so desirable by the members of the opposite sex from around the world as our ancestors have travelled and mingled frenetically with a plethora of “members” originating from a wide variety of counties before or since they landed here.
Therefore, our own “ethnic group” is already a composite of a variety of ethnic groups.
“That is why we are so gorgeous here!” said my enthusiastic son, and why we will get even cuter in the future as we continue “stirring” the proverbial genetic pool…
- “Poor men having to compete to gain the heart of one of those goddesses”, said my overwhelmed son just last Friday. He gets especially “twitipated” when one of those heavenly creatures has slanting eyes, why does his heart tighten up each time?
His dream girl also has coloured hair, “anime” style. His dream…. He has always been drawn to the Japanese Anime art style.
(Or maybe is it just his teenage hormones still kicking in?).
Thankfully for him, many parents went elsewhere to look for their “house angel”.
He has the choice of colour, and he loved them all. He is an artist in his own right…
(He recently mentioned: “Mom, my eyes see in black and white to be more realistic (not with you with your pink glasses who distort reality) …
BUT MY HEART DEFINITELY SEES IN FULL COLOUR!
Right after he uttered these words I reflected that my pale freckled complexion would not be able to withstand the upcoming climate changes nor could I ever be able to visit my brother “down under” as the ozone layer over that country has thinned over the past years, leading to more UV radiation reaching the earth ie. I will burn to a crisp the very minute I would land there for sure…
Those who don’t believe in climate change, now is time for you to remove your reality altering pink glasses and face reality: they warn us to urgently change our ways ir face the consequences. You must immediately stop our engines at red lights, recycle, reduce recycling at the source altogether, compost, buy recycled or at least recyclable products and packaging, save water by shortening the duration of your shower, buy water-saving shower heads, turn off the water when you brush your teeth, in short start getting your finger out of your “shaded area” and start making an effort, if not for you, for your children you bloody selfish pigs…
Despite the fact that our planet is blue and so is our Québec flag, Canada’s current water usage is only second to the USA and double that of Europeans. Yeas Canada has the largest amount of fresh water on the planet but that doesn’t mean we can use it carelessly. My brother’s country doesn’t fare any better, despite the fact that Australia is the driest inhabited continent on earth, Australia is the third highest user of water per person in the world: ie. Both our countries fail miserably when it comes to the world’s most precious resource.
I now have a large recipient in my sink to recuperate used water which I then use to rinse dishes, the sink or poor in the garden.
The point of no return, they confirmed, is upon us. Mankind spends more time working on bettering their appearance in a futile attempt at prolonging their beauty and their life than bettering their environment which needs to be there and viable in order for us to get to enjoy the effort we put on our quest for longevity.
All every parent to be wishes is that their child is born in good health. And we hope that he will live his life in a world where people will be kind and that they all help one another. No matter what sex, hair colour, eye colour our child turns out to be, we only wish it a happy life, in a world where they can grow and pursue their dream, freely and without prejudice.
(One day, when I was a kid, as we played with our dolls, my friend Josée (who lived on my street), we asked one another what we wished we would be when we grow up at the turn of the new millennium.
My answer: a priest. Hers: a pope, nothing less.
In my prayers, for as long as I can remember, even as a child, I prayed every night to have a child of my own one day.
When he didn’t feel well at the start of his depression, he repeatedly sang this song: “donne-moi à manger j’ai faim, donne-moi une lueur j’ai peur...” (give me some food, I am starving, show me the light, curb my fright!”. I had no idea what he meant by it… l’Heptale from Harmonium (a famous Québec band from the 70’s) he once explained to me.
- “That album was written especially for me, he added!
Therefore, on our way back from Québec City a few weeks later, we played in loop that very album. Together we sang every song. At some point during the trip, I suddenly remembered that at the end of my mentor’s (Yves Trudel) play, the ensemble sang at unison the following: “On a mis quelqu’un au monde, on devrait peut-être l’écouter!” (we brought a life into the world, we should at least hear what they have to say).
Later, when I wrote my own play which was performed by young local talents, I got them to sing that same song to their parents watching their performance, adding: “none of us remember the moment we were born but, thanks to this song from your teenage years, can you recall the time you had their age? Because, the same amount of time has passed for us too. So, guide us while you remember the time you were 15 years old too”. ******
Signed: Nathalie B........
That day, I was writing with an entity I had never “spoken” to before.
- “You didn’t sign your whole name!”, he wrote during our session of “inspired writing”. Amen, amen…
I told the “entity” that he should have written: “imaginary illness”. Well, his answer: Amen…
So, I decided to do a search on Google…. And I fell on this site:
Cactusmontréal.com (Organism which helps people with drug dependencies) …
Then, he wrote: grandma is there. Amen.
That morning, I had to make a very crucial choice at the deli: 1% or 2% milk?
****** At that very moment, my son entered the room while repeating to me that, once again, I failed to listen to him…
That day, the technician who came to fix our fridge (once again) failed to do so. He will be back with new parts tomorrow, he said.
My car’s air conditioning also broke down that same week. As I was broke too that week (to be honest, my bank account was empty also). Luckily, tomorrow is pay day. To be totally honest, chances are that, come Friday, my account will most likely be empty once more…
I must say, I still have the money my husband gave me earlier this week but it is only to go to lunch with my family later today. I even had to go without my weekly magazines… To make things worse, 7 jours magazine features my favourite, Ginette Reno! And today is the last day to buy it, tomorrow the new edition comes out… Darn!
We are very much alike, you and I my dear Ginette: two excessive women. I love singing too although I could never approach the level of talent you have in this department. No one in Canada can as far as I’m concerned. But I have been a loving and caring mother to my family as I am sure you were. No, my ultimate dream would be if you somehow, would do me the infinite honour to sing your wonderful song”
One day, my husband the lawyer reminded me: “not to forget your copyright”. Does that mean that I must contact each and every person I name in my work to ask for their blessing?
- “Even the pope, you mentioned the pope somewhere, didn’t you? He even has his own web site (yes but his mobile number wouldn’t be listed, right?”. He even has a Twitter account, a Facebook page, his own emojis and oh my, he even has his own app!). Maybe we should go to Italy and visit the Vatican for our next vacation in order for me to initiate a “pope to archangels” summit: I’m sure they could suggest a few pointers in order to improve the catholic thing…
My personal opinion: maybe you could let the liberty for priests and/or nuns to get married. The Protestant church has allowed it for a while now and it seems to be working, also, why not permit women to become priests (yes, I know your argument is that Jesus only had male disciples). Well, I learnt from very reliable sources that Jesus, the ultimate church leader, has himself had a female companion who was also a full fledge disciple of his… This fact will very soon be proven beyond the benefit of a doubt, did I hear through the branches…
And to ask for total chastity from a human being, well I find it a bit much…
One of our few saints used to, in order to chase impure thoughts, roll in the snow until these impure thoughts went away…
After all, your main task, as a religious movement originating directly by our saviour, is to propagate his legacy to the masses. Not to accumulate riches and possessions. Jesus never really cared for those.